Welcome to another round of Point and Laugh Friday! It’s the day the PSAs dread, but also the one they visit us the most, so everybody slick your hair back and be on your best anti behavior. I’m not sure about the rest of you, but I’ve learned some very valuable lessons this week and even had my life saved. At some point we must pause to give thanks for our PSA counterparts because they just give and give and just when you think they have no more to give….they give us even more. They are truly the Energizer Bunnies of the slaughter debate. In other words, they make a lot of noise, they are really annoying and they just won’t quit. I’ve been very busy in the real world, so let’s get right down to the business of Point and Laugh Friday! Today’s edition will be brought to you by the letter `P’ for paranoid.
I’m kinda sad to tell everybody that Slaughterhouse Sue turned in a very poor effort this week. She kicked things off in fine style by laying down the links as usual, but then quickly faded into oblivion. Her soapbox this week was the TWHA Celebration and the inspections on the horses there. Nevermind the fact that the Big Lick industry has long been a chamber of horrors for the horses they use, the HSUS is involved so the cruelty and abuse must be endorsed. As a result, there was a whole bunch of outrage and whining about The Celebration for a few days until Suey’s followers spotted something shiny and were distracted from this issue. This left Ole Suey to slighter back under her rock to work on some more poetry and dream about a day when every horse wears a USDA sticker on its ass.
Next up, we’ll check in with the dynamic duo of Douchebag Duquette and Holy Theresa Manzella. Not surprisingly with Suey being low profile, we didn’t get to hear from D-bag this week. Perhaps he is off working on his super secret multi-million dollar rescue/rehab/slaughter/college/nail salon/micro-brewery/gas station that he claims is going to save the horse industry and solve the economic crisis. More likely, he’s locked in Suey’s basement and working on his ABCs. Holy Theresa has been busy raising money for her slaughter supporting rescue and is currently trying to sell one of her rescues horses. Despite the PSAs swarming other rescues for `selling’ or putting a higher adoption fee on a horse, it’s ok if Holy Theresa does it because she likes to slaughter horses. That makes it righteous. Other than that she has mostly been whipping herself into a frenzy over the upcoming presidential election and being holier than the rest of us.
Because our leading trio of ignorance was pretty quiet this week, it was Mindy Puppymill Patterson’s turn to step up to the plate and embrace her inner twatwaffle for all to see. I’ve got to give props to Puppymill because she really brought the paranoia in grand style and even woke the UH congregation out of their usual stupor to join in the festivities. Miss Patterson was a force of a nature as she Facebooked her ass off and laid down the links like a boss. She even took the time to blog AND grace Trent Loos with her words of wisdom and paranoia. (http://www.rodeoattitude.com/facesofag/2012/09/06/mindy-patterson-is-sore-about-how-usda-treats-tennessee-walking-horse-folks/) Because good ole Trent was a former feature boy for our Sunday PSA feature, we know that he loves nothing more than some good conspiracy theories and misplaced outrage, just ask Robert Kennedy Jr. Puppymill’s main sources of outrage were the inspections on the Big Lick horses and that Vice Presidential nominee, Paul Ryan, had the unmitigated gall to hire a vegan speech writer. Despite the fact that two of the top PSA battle cries are their personal rights and freedom of choice, they have called for the firing of speech writer Matthew Scully based on his personal rights and freedom of choice. They are absolutely convinced that he is an HSUS plant that will not only brainwash their great white election hope into liking animals, he will also gain access to Area 51 and really jack up this country. Thank God we have people like Puppymill to alert us to these hidden dangers!
This past week as been truly a bizarre one in the alternate reality that Mendy Tobiano inhabits. There may or may not be a brand new `personality’ for our petulant pony, but when `it’ attempted to friend people and gain access to discussion groups, it was met with the usual round of paranoia due to the fact that NT was its only friend. While cowering in her private bat cave, she has mostly sent the NT persona out to do the talking and that’s where things got weird. It seems that NT was not content with having 4 PSA followers so she elected to alienate them all in her new mission to solve the horse industry woes. I can’t even make this stuff up. While it was surprising to see NT actually have a moment of clarity and admit that it isn’t likely that slaughter will return to the US, she returned to form by talking out her butt for the remainder of the week. My favorite moment of paranoia courtesy of NT was when she suggested that commercial haulers pay for an endorsement for certain sized loads. Not an all together bad idea, but probably not all that realistic. Where the paranoia came in was the fact that NT spoke strictly from the point of reference of how Missouri currently handles things and somebody `assumed’ that NT was from MO, like we know at least one of her personalities is. NT got a little bit pissed and belligerent. It clearly stuck in the pony’s craw enough that she made a point or blogging about it a day or so later. You know, just so we all know for absolute sure that it’s a team and not just one self-important, unemployed drama queen from the mid-west. I did learn from NT that if you just pull your stats and numbers out of your ass, you can get away with it by saying you `checked around’ and know more than everybody else because you have had horses for years. To that I say; you can have horses for years and still know nothing about them when you think you already know it all. At any rate, I’m considering just making up numbers from now on because it’s less work and NT says it’s ok. Maybe then I’ll have more time to endlessly search the internet to find things to be offended and paranoid over. I also learned that I am far too polite to the readers of this blog, so I shall be insulting you and taking personal offense to all your comments from now on. I haven’t been at this as long as Mendy Tobiano, so I’m glad she’s around to show me the way.
All in all, it’s been a great week’s work for the anti-slaughter people. Little by little the louder PSA asstards are going underground and keeping their misinformation to themselves. One of our former Sunday poster people didn’t care so much about being featured on here, she felt the need to change her name to “Serahpeena Whatnot”. Perhaps she wants another feature under her new name or something. Buckaroo Harmon has also been quite vocal about how little she cared about her feature on here too. I just love when the PSAs go into an orgy of oversharing their personal information just to show how little they care and then whine when you comment on it. I admit that I’m fairly easily amused though.
As always, I like to leave you with some good things that are going on with the anti-slaughter side of things. I was sent this link a few days ago and I think it’s worth checking out. It’s pretty powerful stuff and it would be nice to see this film get a wide release. (http://www.savingamericashorses.org/)
Lastly, I’d like to update on `Buddy’. He was the horse that the PSAs were calling for his immediate euthanization due to he condition he was in upon surrender to Safe Haven Horse Rescue and Sanctuary. Here was our last update on Buddy: (https://shedrowconfessions.wordpress.com/2012/08/22/updates-and-hypocrisy/) As of a few days ago, he is up to 650 lbs, from the 515 lbs he weighed on his first day with Safe Haven. They have had him in their care since July 19th and I think he’s made some pretty good improvement. I’m not affiliated with this rescue in any way and wouldn’t have even known of them had the PSAs not got all pissed off about this horse. From what I can see, they do some really awesome work.
That pretty much wraps up the recap of this past week. We certainly had a lot to laugh about. As always, thank you for the comments and the emails. I can’t be everywhere at once, so I do appreciate the heads up I get. I hope you all take the time to read the comment sections on this blog because that’s where the really good stuff usually gets shared. Please remember, whatever you do, to watch out for those subversive vegan/ vegetarians as they are getting ready to take over the world!