I feel like it’s Christmas all over again! While I’m as concerned as anybody about the full court press the slaughterphiles are launching to get slaughter houses open in New Mexico and Oklahoma, it has brought about a media blitz from Dave `Douchebag’ Duquette. As most of you know, that is always an occasion for much hilarity and knee slapping. My mind truly boggles that any organization, no matter how backwoods, would think it was a good idea to make him their voice, but we should all be very thankful that the slaughterphiles do, because every time he strokes his chin pubes and opens his mouth, it helps our cause and gives us lots to laugh about. We haven’t heard much from D-bag since his rather sad attempt at entering the blogosphere, but his antics over the past week have more than made up for his absence. Sadly, we can surmise from his insights that he hasn’t become any more edumacated or managed to find himself a clue.
First up, let’s take a little look at a radio hit D-bag did. (http://www.1190kex.com/pages/whatyoumissed.html?article=11002311) Since I know that some of you won’t subject yourself to listening to him mumble on about all things slaughter, I took one for the team and will give you some highlights of this little 4 1/2 minute gem. Basically, they introduce D-bag after talking about the horse meat found in Ikea Meatballs in Europe, which is just one of many products found to contain horse meat lately. They introduce D-bag as the President of The UH and say they are a small organization that retrains and rehabs unwanted horses that just so happen to be slaughter advocates. I seriously wish they would have asked him how many they have managed to retrain and rehab to date, but they didn’t. This is where the lies began. D-bag claims that they have to import millions of pounds of horse meat from Canada for zoo diets every year. This isn’t exactly true. For instance, you can get horse meat for pet food at Bravo Packing in New Jersey where they claim that people bring them horses asking it to be used for pet food. They say they probably slaughter and process 5 horses a month and most of those are donated due to being old, blind or crippled. Triple A Brand Meat Company in Burlington, Colorado is another company that process horse meat for zoo diets. The owner has stated they get their horse meat fresh from local rendering plants. In addition, there are several zoos and animal sanctuaries that will take horses and process them for their big cats as well. D-bag didn’t see fit to mention those details. It may not be big business, but it is certainly happening right here at home and the demand is far from `millions of pounds’ a year. D-bag kinda contradicted himself when he admitted it was still legal to slaughter horses for pet food, but that plants can’t run on that small demand. Which is it? You can read about it here: (http://content.yudu.com/A1620t/rockymtnriderapr09/resources/18.htm)
As any good liar does when not confronted, D-bag pulls some more statistics out of his butt. According to him 70% of the world’s countries eat horse meat every single day. While horse meat may be consumed in that many countries every day, it’s certainly not the majority of the population doing so. He blathers on about how safe and healthy horse meat is and you can almost envision Slaughterhouse Sue’s hand up his butt making him talk at this point. He informs us all that there is withdrawal times for drugs and they are all cleared out of the system within 30 days. Besides, according to D-bag, it’s not big deal because dairy cattle have been given Bute for the last 30 or 40 years. Of course most of us know this is all a bunch of lies. There is no withdrawal time for certain banned drugs and no, dairy cattle in the human food chain are not given Bute. In fact, the use of Bute in dairy cattle over the age of 20 months is prohibited in the US (http://vetmed.tamu.edu/common/docs/public/aavpt/phenylbutazone.pdf). Nice try D-bag! He also tells us that Americans have had horse meat as part of their diets since `Lewis and Clark’ all the way up to the mid 80’s when it was on the menu at Harvard. For some reason, the slaughterphiles like to bring up the fact that Harvard served horse meat all the time. I guess that’s supposed to make it legit or something. D-bag wraps things up by telling us that what is happening in Europe is no big deal other than a labelling issue. He said that having horse meat show up in your food is not much worse than somebody labeling turkey as chicken. Tell that to somebody keeping kosher! D-bag also whines about having to go against the animal rights movement who are the `loud and wealthy minority’. Well, it’s not just card-carrying animal rights people that are appalled at the notion of eating horse meat and 80% is most certainly not a minority. We don’t expect D-bag to be good at math though.
Ok, let’s move onto the next stop on D-bag’s magical media tour, which will be the ABC news (http://abcnews.go.com/Business/find-horse-meat-us/story?id=18598602#.UTEnQ18bhp8.email). There are a few minor inaccuracies in this article, but where it really gets bizarre is when they check in with D-bag. He informs us that the cost to euthanize a horse is between $600 and $2500. I don’t know what vet he’s using but he needs to find a new one. I have never had a horse euthanized that cost even $300 to get the job done. Now, that’s not counting disposal, but D-bag specifies that was just for euthanization. A bullet is far less and he sure doesn’t mention that. What he does tell the reporter is “The problem has gotten worse with horses that are abandoned, neglected, abused and starving to death and the direct cause is this and the economy”. Yes, because horses were never neglected, abused or starved prior to slaughter shutdown in 2007. He fails to mention that the majority of the abandoned horses are found near borders and are largely believed to be slaughter rejects. Nobody knows why the rest are abandoned or if their owners maybe did that because they didn’t want their horses to go to auction where a kill buyer may get them, as misguided as that is. D-bag also proudly tells us that he’s never had anything to do with horse slaughter and he doesn’t `think’ he has ever sent a horse to slaughter in his life. I would think you would know whether or not you sent a horse to slaughter, no? Also, interesting that while he claims to have never had anything to do with slaughter, he is now the `expert’ on it and how humane it is. Considering he has openly admitted to eating horse meat and serving it up to guests in the past, I would say he’s had a little to do with slaughter. He neglects to mention that minor detail though.
Guess what? D-bag still wasn’t finished talking to the media. He also talked to the NY Times, who refer to him as a `horse trader’. (http://www.nytimes.com/2013/02/26/business/us-exposure-to-horse-meat-answers-to-common-questions.html?_r=1&) D-bag tells us “We’re real close to getting some processing plants up and running, but there are no inspectors because the U.S.D.A. is working on protocols” . He also said that he believes that the USDA is going to bring inspectors `online directly’. I’m not entirely sure what that means. Is that opposed bringing them online indirectly? Are they going to take some detours? So many questions! D-bag also assures everybody that horse meat is safe and oh so healthy. He also says it is in demand by growing demographic groups in the US such as Tongans, Mongolians and Hispanics. Does that mean we should start processing dogs and cats that some ethnic groups like as well? Would this be one of those slippery slopes they all keep telling us to beware of? I’m beginning to think that Slaughterhouse Suey and Puppymill Patterson wrote a script for D-bag as he basically says the same thing in every interview with only the lies getting bigger when he ad libs. He really is a special kinda stupid.
It seems D-bag was a busy boy this week because he also spoke with RIA Novosti (http://en.ria.ru/world/20130228/179725679/US-Horsemeat-Producers-Await-Giddyup——–.html). This time D-bag changes things up and tells us that he has all these calls from `upper-end’ restaurants all across the country that can’t wait to put horse meat on the menu. Of course to D-bag, upper-end is likely Olive Garden and there is no chance in hell they are going to start serving up Mr. Ed Penne any time soon. He also doesn’t mention that even though horse meat is available for human consumption in Canada, you have to look pretty hard to find it in a restaurant. He also tells us that horse meat is the most nutritious red meat there is and that consumption of horse meat rises during economic crisis because it’s 50% less cost-wise. He leaves out the part that it would be cheaper because horses are not raised to be food animals so what you would be eating is somebody’s former saddle horse that has been given banned substances and may or may not be diseased. D-bag never really mentions where he gets his stats from.
Slaughterhouse Sue and her band of slaughterphiles are all in absolute raptures about D-bag’s media blitz and there is more for us all to look forward to. He says he has already spoken to Time Magazine and that Russell Brand has asked him to be on his late night FX show. Personally, I would pay cash to be a fly on the wall for that one. For those of you that don’t know, Russell Brand is a vegan and his sense of humor would be considered irreverent at best. I’m very excited at the prospect of this one happening and I’m hoping they ring up Slaughterhouse Sue for good measure. You just can’t write comedy this good! Let’s hope that Brand’s people bring him up to speed at what the real facts of horse slaughter are and he can have some fun at D-bag’s expense. It may not be as good as getting Suey to storm out of a meeting, but it will come awfully close.
As funny as it is to see it in print just how stupid D-bag really is, it is frustrating too. These reporters who probably never have given a thought to horse slaughter or the horse industry aren’t educating themselves and researching prior to speaking to people like D-bag. They are giving him a forum to spread the UH propaganda and that’s a bit concerning. Suey is vowing to give the horse slaughter business her undivided attention now and that means we’ll have her running around shooting off her mouth too. We need reasonable people to call them on their lies and present the facts. The truth and research are on our side. It’s not a time for complacency. Here is a link for an action alert for Valley Meats’ application for a grant of inspection to slaughter horses. Please take the time to make the calls and fill out the forms. Let your voice be heard. Horses can’t speak for themselves, so it’s time to step up as an advocate and do our parts. It doesn’t cost you anything but a few minutes of your time. (https://secure.humanesociety.org/site/Advocacy?cmd=display&page=UserAction&id=5935&s_src=hpbb20130301)