Well folks, it’s been nearly two weeks since we’ve had a press release from either the United Horseturds or the IEBA. I’ve come to realize that those press releases are my comic relief lately and I miss them. However, just as I was about to sink into a black hole of despair where nothing would ever seem funny again some miraculous things happened. First off, somebody left Douchebag Duquette unsupervised with internet access for several days and then, as an added bonus, Slaughterhouse Sue put on her ass hat and did another interview. It’s been a wild and whacky few weeks from the head PSAs and because I’m so community minded, I’m going to share with y’all.
I’m going to switch things up today and kick off with D-bag if for no other reason than I’m tired of seeing Suey’s face at the top of my blog posts. I’m kinda tired of the chin pubes too, but some choices are harder than others. To begin the festivities, I’m going to go all the way back a few weeks to a little video that was widely shared. It was filmed directly after a temporary restraining order was issued in the New Mexico lawsuit. This will prevent horse slaughter plants from opening until further arguments can be heard in about a month. It’s a short clip featuring Blair Dunn, attorney for the PSAs and Bruce Wagman who is the attorney for the slaughter opponents. Also, at the very end, there is a short statement from Laura Bonner from Animal Protection of NM. (http://newmexico.watchdog.org/19173/video-reaction-to-judge-blocking-horse-plant-with-temporary-restraining-order/). The entire clip is less than 3 minutes long, so clearly nobody really had much time to get into details about their positions. Wagman, was non-committal and Dunn basically regurgitated the whole `help the poor starving horses’ argument while letting it slip that Valley Meats was approached by pro-slaughter interests to open up their plant originally. Now, if you want my personal opinion, I think Blair Dunn looked like a cheap attorney. He couldn’t even be arsed to take off his sun glasses for the camera presumably because he’s way too cool and sexy to do so. Naturally D-bag thought this was a great little clip to show how awesome the PSA movement is and linked it up for his followers with this statement: “Blair Dunn does a great job here and the gal from the other side looks like she is gonna Hyper ventilate…” That’s when things went south, headed up by Puppymill Patterson.
The hyperventilating activist had no solution to offer when the reporter asked her the question of what was the alternative to horse slaughter. All EMOTION and NO FACTS. AND, she looks like a troll from Lord of the Rings.
– Yup, this was Puppymill Patterson embracing her inner hypocrite and calling the kettle black. For the record, Bonner was quite well spoken in the brief amount of time she had and at no point did she seem over-excited unlike the cap locking, ambiguous gender looking, Patterson.
…we work hard and sometimes want to just give up, but we are somehow cursed with the determination to stay the coarse
– Here we see the first evidence of D-bag being unsupervised at the keyboard as he tells his followers he is going to stay the coarse. I’m pretty sure he meant `course’, or maybe he really did mean `coarse’ and is telling them he is determined to stay vulgar and indecent. Upon reflection, I’m pretty sure that wasn’t a typo…
I thought Blair Dunn was a crusty old man! No one told me he was young and good looking! #gamechanger
– The was Puppymill again. I’m now thoroughly convinced her baby daddy sports a mullet and rolls his cigarette packages in his sleeve.
So you want the horse slaughter to open up.. Dave.. really.. and Mindy your name calling(troll) is a clear reflection of your intelligence.
– What’s that sound? That would be the sound of D-bag losing a supporter…
Not sure what rock you have been under XXXX but Mindy is a far greater Patriot than most I have been an active Pro-Slaughter leader for 6 years now.
– Hmmm, I was not aware that Puppymill played for the Patriots. I’m also not sure what that has to do with anything unless D-bag meant patriot and is just randomly capitalizing things for effect? At any rate, D-bag got all indignant and went on a roll as others voiced their distaste for horse slaughter and Puppymill tucked her tail between her legs and slunk off into the swamp from whence she came. Here are the greatest hits from him that day:
Who’s going to pay to put down over 100k feral tribal horses that are starving and causing ecological disaster? You still didn’t answer the question above
– I can’t think why these tribes aren’t shipping to slaughter right now considering they are already receiving government support with free Coggins tests and gelding so they can do that very thing. Has nobody told them we have things like trucks and trailers that will ship those horses? Has nobody pointed out to the Yakama Nation that even if New Mexico and Iowa get their plants open, that Canada is still closer?
Oh and lets not forget the toxic 100k bodies x 1000lbs= 100,000,000 lbs of toxic waste.
– Considering that less than 2% of the horse population end up at slaughter and are disposed of other ways, that means that we should be in the apocalypse now by D-bag’s estimation. What does everybody else do with the bodies? For that matter we plant far more humans in the ground that are plumb full of chemicals via embalming. What about that toxic waste?
Or do you just want us to do what Wayne Pacelle of HSUS says, “I don’t care if you shoot them in the head, you just can’t eat them”
– Actually, I have yet to see an anti say you can’t eat your own horse. The vast majority of us think that’s repugnant and akin to eating your dog, but we do recognize that you can do that if you want. What the HSUS and every anti is saying, you aren’t going to profit from commercially slaughtering young, viable animals in barbaric conditions.
We have a history of eating horses here, you are just not educated, all the way back to Lewis and Clarke talking about eating their horses in their journal
– Ahhh, good ole Lewis and Clarke again. I wonder if D-bag knows about that Uruguayan rugby team that were in that plane crash back in the 70’s. They were stuck on a mountain for more than two months and ended up eating their friends that had died in the crash. I’m sure if you ask any of them, they wouldn’t choose to ever eat human meat again. On second thought, I probably shouldn’t have planted that seed….Anyhow, D-bag got super pissed when somebody asked him if he raised horses for slaughter and blocked them all from his page.
Perhaps D-bag was emboldened by his off-leash time or maybe Slaughterhouse Sue has been momentarily distracted with dreaming up new ways to wipe out the horse population. Whatever the reason, D-bag has decided to surf these `internets’ he hears so much about and lay down some links that were not provided to him by either Suey or Puppymill. He played it safe to begin with by merely taking a few potshots at Wayne Pacelle, the HSUS, and Robert Redford. Then, I’m not sure what happened. Maybe he was hopped up on Bute tainted horse meat or perhaps the product he grooms his chin pubes with was past its sell-by date and created noxious and mind-altering fumes that wafted upwards and affected his last remaining firing synapse. For whatever reason, we can only assume he went out and got his Google on and found an article from a UK news source about horse meat. I played around with Google and when I typed in `horse burger’ the article he linked up was at the top of the page. That was only after I tried `horses is good eatin’ and `Wayne Pacelle is a terd’. (http://www.dailysquib.co.uk/health/4260-shock-as-lab-grown-burgers-contain-99-horse-meat.html). Anybody with the reading comprehension of a third grader is going to read that and recognize that it’s satire and pretty hilarious at that. Thanks to the readers here, I not only found screen caps of the ensuing hilarity in my inbox, but was given a link to Heather Clemenceau’s blog which probably covered this far better than I am about to (http://heatherclemenceau.wordpress.com/2013/08/12/united-horsemens-members-skewered-by-news-satire/). D-bag introduced this little gem with this statement: “After Wayne P. from HSUS hailed the “Lab Meat”…..Sorry I can’t stop laughing…. out comes the truth…” Because we know that by and large, most slaughterphiles are like-minded, hilarity ensued with as many of 35 of them linking it up in all seriousness. Granted a few shares were D-bag under his UH and Oregonians Against Animal Rights Extremists hats, but the rest were just your every day PSAs who really thought they had come across something awesome. Here are the very best comments from the PSAs who all thought this was real…
After Wayne P. from HSUS hailed the “Lab Meat”…..Sorry I can’t stop laughing…out comes the truth…You can’t make up this kinda karma up
LOL—ALWAYS KNEW THAT ANIMAL AND CLIMATE EXTREMISTS were/are from clean space where there is no oxygen for the brains.
Why not skip past all the money spent on research and simply sell “horse burgers”? They are likely more nutritious and more tasty than those from second class beef. People even eat their dogs ….in some countries.
And they all complain and wonder why we consider them to be morons. It should be noted that many of those comments were made AFTER people told them the article was a spoof. Ladies and gentlemen, you cannot cultivate this level of stupidity over a lifetime. This is the kinda stupid that must be inbred for generations upon generations. I can’t stop laughing either, but I am laughing AT them rather than with them. My poor bladder!
Not to be outdone by her personal ass barnacle, Slaughterhouse Sue spent a little time laying down links and trying to convince people she was a cowgirl. Upon reflection, if one is what one eats, she may well be cowgirl and we also may have finally uncovered her reasoning behind portraying herself as horsewoman too. Anyhow, Suey proudly announced to her acolytes that the HSUS was ordered to pay a $500k bond for the lawsuit in New Mexico. This would be to cover the potential lost income of the slaughter plants should they manage to block the preliminary injunction at the end of the month. What she neglected to mention is that they were originally seeking a $10million bond. Kinda hard to think their little business is all about equine welfare and not profit when they figure that is the amount of money they will lose, no? However ironic and funny I find her posting links from Protect The Harvest calling the HSUS `radical’ etc, I think her shining moment of the last few weeks was when she managed to get herself on yet another Ag radio show. (http://www.whoradio.com/pages/pp_janmickelson.html) The interview was on August 7th and it’s about 35 mins into the program if you are feeling masochistic enough to listen to it. Sadly, I was and I am not going to bore you all with the blow-by-blow aside from letting you know that, in my opinion, it was heavily scripted and she may be the worst public speaker ever with all the stammering and ummms she peppers her speech with. She basically spewed her version of the facts unchallenged and was sure to let everybody know she was very proud to be known as `Slaughterhouse Sue’. This all became interesting to me when I ran across this quote a few days ago. I assume the person that made it is anti, but I don’t know for sure. It’s very telling anyhow.
“I have talked to her twice about being on the radio show .. Both times she has said no ,..unless I supply her with a very detailed and specific list of questions for her to prepare to answer … I told her that I have not done that and will never do that .. That the show is ” LIVE ” and it is a 100% ” LIVE ” interview .. She says she listens to the show, yet feels she would not come across favorably .. Also she does not want to hear the Phone calls / E-mails / Texts that could possibly come into the show during such an interview with me..”
So, I guess I have officially lost all hope that she will ever submit to a debate with any of us antis, even though she has accused us all of hiding from her in the past. As funny as I found D-bag’s antics over the past few weeks, the ever witty, John Holland from the Equine Welfare Alliance provided us with not only some cold hard statistics, but much guffaws at Suey’s expense. Please take the time to read this piece if you haven’t already. It’s totally worth it! (http://rtfitchauthor.com/2013/08/11/a-statistical-analysis-of-slaughterhouse-sue/)
The SAFE ACT will not get past the committees onto the floor for a full vote unless the chair for each committee is on board. Currently, S541 is stuck in the Senate Health, Education, Labor, and Pensions (HELP) Committee, and the Chairman is Thomas “Tom” Harkin [D-IA] @(202) 224-3254.
In the House HR1094 is in the hands of Frank Lucas [R OK-3] @(202) 225-5565 who is Chairman of the Agriculture Committee which oversees the Livestock, Rural Development, and Credit (LRDC) subcommittee and its Chairman is Eric “Rick” Crawford [R-AR1] @(202) 225-4076.
HR1094 has also been referred to Fred Upton [R MI-6] @(202) 225-3761 as Chairman of the House Energy and Commerce Committee who oversees the Health subcommittee and its Chairman is Joseph Pitts [R PA-16] @(202) 225-2411.
We need to make these calls over and over and urge constituents of their districts to become very politely active and persuasive. Some of these chairs lean one way and some the other. Make no assumptions.
Push this. Pass it on. Contact anyone you know who might be, or know, a constituent in their districts, particularly in OK-3. If you know someone who might have clout with these congress people, contact them. We must end this once and for all.