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Posts Tagged ‘united horsemen’

Obviously, I have gotten away from some of our regular features lately.  It’s not due to lack of response from readers, but rather my own up and down schedule.  I guess I have commitment issues or something as it’s been nice to not be tied to writing about specific things on specific days and just let things roll as they come up.  However, I’m feeling nostalgic today and I thought it might be fun to dust off one of your favorite features and roll out another edition of Point and Laugh Friday!  Some of our regulars have been ominously quiet this week, while others have been in rare form.  I guess that’s what keeps things interesting for the rest of us though and it’s always nice to take a little break from the seriousness of the issue and have a few giggles.  This week will be brought to you by the letter `I’ for `ignoramus’.

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I always like to kick things off with the spokesmodel for healthy eating and horse hating, Slaughterhouse Sue.   I’m sorry to report that ole Suey has been eerily quiet on the slaughter front this week.  At first I thought she was merely confused at which organization she is using to push her own agenda.  I mean, it HAS to be confusing for her Bute and animal fat laden brain to remember them all.  Unified Equine?  Wyoming Meats?  United Horseturds?  International Equine Business ASSociation?  Those are just the recent ones.  Sadly, as is usually the case when she goes to ground, I fear ole Suey is up to something besides her usual buffoonery.  According to an article that came out over the past few days, Suey is `connected’ to the proposed slaughter-house in Missouri that is expected to receive their grant of inspection any day now (http://www.thehorse.com/articles/32166/iowa-plant-to-start-horse-processing?utm_source=Newsletter&utm_medium=welfare-industry&utm_campaign=07-11-2013). Even stranger, is the fact she has `declined to comment’ on these new slaughter plants.  Slaughterhouse Suey passing up an opportunity to expound on the health benefits and prestige of gobbling up companion animals is almost unthinkable.  The only thing she loves more than saturated fats is talking about eating her way through the equine population.  She did tip her hand a bit when she implored her brain-dead minions to harass Missouri Gov. Nixon into supporting the new facility in that state. (http://www.gopetition.com/petitions/urge-missouri-governor-nixon-to-support-the-us-horse-industry.html?fb_action_ids=10200799676586981&fb_action_types=og.recommends&fb_source=aggregation&fb_aggregation_id=288381481237582). So far only 208 horse haters have managed to figure out how to click on the right button.  It’s likely difficult for them when they need one forefinger to type and the other to pick their noses, so hopefully mama Suey will cut them some slack.  Stay tuned, I have a feeling we are soon to hear a whole bunch from the head slaughterphile in the coming days…

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Moving right along to the pair of ankles that are normally dangling out of Slaughterhouse Suey’s expansive ass; let’s touch base with Douchebag Duquette.  He hasn’t had a lot to say for himself this week either.  I suspect it’s because Puppymill Patterson has been too busy to ghost write for him, so he has mostly stuck to posting up action alerts and links.  The one he is pimping the hardest actually links through to Puppymill’s Cavalry Group and it is a form letter urging the President and Congress to push the slaughter thing through (http://myemail.constantcontact.com/Action-Needed-.html?soid=1112812195452&aid=zKWnXhFrbxE).  D-bag is very proud that they have over 4600 letters sent so far.  I’m kind of amused.  If you click the link and end up at a propaganda page featuring a picture of a sad and skinny horse.  Exactly the kind of horse that won’t be slaughtered for food and is easier found turned loose near a border crossing where he was likely rejected for slaughter.  Anyhow, plug in your zip code and you end up with a form letter that will be auto-sent to the president and your state reps.  The awesome part is that you can edit the letter and make it be about supporting the ban on slaughter.  That’s what I did and a few other of my anti friends.  It’s very kind of them to make that so easy for us, so don’t hesitate to use it.  Sorry D-bag, your numbers might be just a little bit `off’ as far as supporting your murderous mission.

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I have a confession to make.  I’m kinda getting bored with Holy Mother Theresa’s hypocrisy.  It never ceases to amaze me that she manages to walk around spouting her hate speech without getting her ass kicked on a regular basis.  It seriously goes far beyond your run of the mill ignorance that our `normal’ PSAs display.  Now, even though I’ve been accused of being an `Obama lover’ I’ve never really discussed my political leanings at any length on this blog.  The slaughter issue is pretty much a bipartisan issue at this point which I personally find encouraging.  I also don’t usually like talking about other hot button issues mainly because it never leads to warm fuzzies no matter how you slice it.  However, this is where the hypocrisy of Holy Theresa comes in.  It would seem that Holy Theresa will shriek, wail and moan about people taking away her right to torture and slaughter horses, but she would like to tell y’all what to do with your wombs.  She does seem to be fine with the concept of aborting fetuses with `abnormalities’ though. I’m going to restrain myself from going for the obvious zinger here and just say that it’s really ok not to spout off all your hateful beliefs so publically all the time.  Other than that, the holy one is busy trying to peddle her dink homebreds at inflated prices and hosting constitutional studies.  I, for one, am looking very forward to her election campaign next year as I’m always all about the comedy.

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One slaughterphile that almost never disappoints us is none other than Puppymill Patterson.  She barely takes time off from her animal hating to rinse out her granny panties lately.  I guess with the general population finally being sick and tired of being confronted with the cruelty and abuse of  all creatures great and small for no other reason than entertainment and money, it keeps her hopping.  I think it’s a sad state of affairs that we have to legislate common decency, but then again I look on the straightening iron for my hair and it says `not for internal use’ on it.  People really are that stupid apparently…..Anyhow, as I have stated ad nauseam, Puppymill represents a small pocket of assholes that fight for their right to abuse and mistreat animals at all costs.  She actually makes a living doing this and she doesn’t confine herself to her home state.  Her biggest outrage this week is getting Senate Bill 6 in Oregon stopped (http://gov.oregonlive.com/bill/2013/SB6/).  Essentially, Senate Bill 6 seeks to: ” Increase punishment for the animal neglect in first degree to maximum of five years’ imprisonment, $125,000 fine, or both, for the repeat animal neglect offenders, neglect that occurs in the presence of a minor child or animal neglect offenses involving 10 or more animals”.  The very fact that people like Puppymill oppose these sorts of laws is exactly the problem we have on the slaughter front right now.  They accuse of us of having done nothing in the last six years to make things better, yet they fight us at every turn when attempts are made to address abuse and neglect.  Really, aside from slaughter, what would they have us do?  Obviously, telling people it’s a bad idea to mistreat and neglect animals isn’t working.  I honestly don’t see how slaughtering the evidence will prevent it from happening either.  Make no mistake that Puppymill is still hot on the case of protecting your rights to sore horses, run puppy mills, and otherwise mistreat animals for your own personal profit and pleasure, but this has been her biggest hissy fit this week.  Or at least it has aside from sniping at Wayne Pacelle because he had the unmitigated gall to wear a plaid shirt or something like that.  The good news is that Senate Bill 6 has passed the House and should be signed into law fairly soon.  Way to go Oregon!

Nothing says `animal welfare' like straddling  your next meal...

Nothing says `animal welfare’ like straddling your next meal…

I have to share that I spent a lovely afternoon painting a pudgy painted pony on the side of my barn this week.  It happens to have a red slash through it and it’s right next to the symbol for Horse Farts and the original United Horseturd logo.  Yes folks,  our angry, pudgy pony has pulled up stakes and axed the blog on her website.  At least for the time being we no longer have to worry about anybody stumbling across her non-sensical ramblings and moral outrage.  Yes, the message board still exists, but you have to register and quite frankly, I don’t care enough to do that and apparently not many other people do either.  I do support her right to talk to her alternate personalities and be ignorant in the privacy of her own bat cave, so I don’t feel the need to address anything she says as long as she isn’t spewing propaganda in public.  She is still a very dedicated reader of this blog, but for the time being, we can slap her on the ass and kick her out to pasture while we move on to more important matters.  Ta-ta for now, Mendy Tobiano, it’s been real, but it hasn’t been real nice….

mendytobiano

I’m going to have to apologize in advance to the regular readers of this blog, because I have a feeling this next section is going to cause some outrage and comment bombs.  At least it will, if the individual in question manages to circumnavigate her ban again.  She and her dipshit mother are the only two people that have ever been banned from commenting because there is only so much idiocy I’m prepared to address and they seem to have endless amounts of time to comment bomb.  Yes dear readers, I’m talking about Daffy.  I usually loathe to even acknowledge Dippy Daffy, but she’s found a new platform and let’s face it, she’s so dumb it’s funny at times.  When we last heard from her, she was struggling through some college course on medical transcription despite admitting to dyslexia.  Since that time she has revised her resume to include being a vet tech, equine massage therapist,  and horse husbandry expert.  She gets a LOT done for somebody that is also breeder, barrel racer, and slaughter expert.  She can actually plump up her resume all she wants as far as I’m concerned, but what I do take exception to is when she outright lies about this blog.  Seems Daffy is a bit pissed and has been reading up a storm over here.  She truly hates it when other people post links to this blog and does her level best to discourage people from reading.  She hates it so much she made up this whopper today:

“THE TRUTH!!!!!! oh ok how is this truth.. OH LOOK its daffy and her lame horse.. YEP lets pry on a CHILD riding a horse.. OH yea she did just that.. posted my video that showed NOTHING BUT MY 2 YR OLD DAUGHTER…actually she was sent an email to remove it and she did in a hurry. She has bashed more then one pro.. Like andi harmon about her mustang rescue that is more then ligit,, their comments are saying she is rescueing them to slaughter them.. which is a big fat lie”

 

Actually, I did no such thing.  Daffy, herself, posted a video of her three-legged lame horse on a public site and I merely provided a link to it.  The blog in question is right here: (https://shedrowconfessions.wordpress.com/2012/07/13/its-point-and-laugh-friday-again/).  If you scroll down about half way, you’ll see the commentary on the video, with quotes from Daffy saying how proud she was of it, along with her own PSA buddies telling her how lame that poor horse was.  The only person that removed anything was Daffy removing the video from YouTube.  I removed nothing.  Several months after the fact I did receive a whiny email from her saying she was being harassed or something and asking for me to take down any pictures of her children.  I told her I had never posted any pictures of her spawn, which I have not.  That was basically all there was ever said about this aside from her lunatic mother post bombing this blog and advising me to look up Daffy under her maiden name to see her `many’ accomplishments as a horse person.  I attempted to do so and the only thing that ever came up under any name Daffy has used is her arrest records for passing bad checks.  Oops!  I have yet to see Daffy add anything worthwhile to conversations nor have I seen anybody other than the dumbest of PSAs take her very seriously.  For awhile there, even PSAs were banning her off their boards and carving her up behind closed doors.  Hopefully, this will straighten out the latest of her fables and she will learn not to poke the bear.

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I think that about covers our major PSA highlights this week.  I know of a few new faces that are spoiling for attention on here, but we normally have better things to discuss.  They continue to be outraged and threaten to call the FBI on people they think are me.  Again, I do apologize to the antis that are accused of being me.  They haven’t gotten it right yet and I don’t suppose they ever will.  This blog isn’t about me and it never has been.  I merely comment on what they put out there in public and will continue to do so as long as it amuses me;  just the same way I endorse their right to an opinion on this blog.  Make no mistake that I will set the record straight when their whoppers get too far out of line *cough*daffy*cough* There is no such thing as bad publicity after all 😉  After the rest of you are done with pointing, laughing, tearing your hair out, or whatever recapping the antics of these asstards inspires you to do, I hope you take the time to continue to make calls and get the word out to support the SAFE Act.  Have a great weekend!

show-me-your-horse-and-i-will-tell-you-what-you-are

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With things coming down to the wire as far as horse slaughter, I’ve taken some time to do a bit more reading on the issue over the past few weeks.  I have to admit, I don’t really like reading endless articles saying the same thing over and over, mostly because I find it all quite depressing.  I don’t need to be beat over the head about how horrible slaughter is or what really happens during transport, because I get it.  I have my favorite sources I look to for information and I mostly stick to those and what ends up in my emails.  If I’m writing a blog, I become a bit more masochistic and actually dig a bit deeper to see what our PSA buddies are saying.  Mostly I find it amusing, but lately it’s just kinda annoying.  Ok, it’s a whole bunch annoying, but what I find sadly funny is what they pull out as their `expert’ proof and how many of them proclaim themselves authorities, but leave their asses hung out in public. Endless fodder.  Because they have beat the GAO Report to death and nobody other than the PSAs really give it any credibility, I thought we’d look at some of their other `irrefutable proof’ today.  They truly are grasping at straws lately…..

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While not new to the slaughter issue, I’ve seen the name of Baxter Black getting kicked around a lot lately.  The PSAs just love this poseur.  After all, he wears the cowboy hat and the rest of the asstard uniform that counts for a lot in the PSA’s eyes.  If you want to be seen as an authority, jam a cowboy hat on your head and talk with an `aww shucks’ drawl and make sure to use bad grammar.  Seriously, WHAT the actual fuck makes this idiot an expert on horses and their welfare?  Oh, I can already hear the PSAs stomping their hooves and shrieking, `but he’s an actual veterinarian!’.  Actually, no he is not an actual veterinarian.  He WAS one many, many years ago, but he was never an equine vet.  He was a large animal vet mostly dealing with cattle and, I’m sure, a few PSA type horses thrown in the mix, but we all know that the majority of those types hardly provide a lot of veterinarian care for their equines.  The fact is, he ceased being a vet of any type way back in the 80’s after being `let go’ from his last job which was, according to his own bio, a `tech’ position.    He quit being a vet in 1982, which for our mathematically challenged PSAs,  means he hasn’t practiced in over 30 years.  Even then his veterinarian career lasted less than 13 yrs.  Not even half as long as many of us have actually been in the horse industry and making a good living btw.  Hardly a stellar career in horse husbandry and certainly posing his ass on a few horses and writing lame poetry does not make him any more of an expert than the city guy that paid to go on a trail ride a few times in his life.  Naturally, Black is a slaughterphile and he has never spent a single week of his lifetime making his living from working with horses exclusively.  He bases a lot of his opinions on the widely ridiculed GAO report. (http://www.tsln.com/article/20110818/TSLN04/110819970).

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Now, admittedly, Black isn’t new to the `slaughter em all’ bandwagon, but for whatever reason, he’s getting linked around a lot lately.  I guess it’s been a slow few days for their regular mouth pieces or something so it was time to dust off some of his ramblings on the subject.  Black’s actual claim to fame, such that it is, is that he’s a cowboy poet.  Unlike Slaughterhouse Sue, he can actually pen a sensible verse or two.  Because of this, he comes up with some rather interesting euphemisms for slaughter.  Now, maybe it has been used a bit before, but I had not heard of CHEER until I read one of his articles (http://amarillo.com/news/local-news/2011-02-19/horse-owners-lovers-mull-over-cheer).  CHEER, is an acronym for Centers for Humane Euthanasia and Equine Recycling.  Doesn’t that sound so incredibly brilliant and amazing? I get visions of fat happy ponies romping in sweet clover and drinking out of crystal clear streams. It almost sounds like the Rainbow Bridge right here on earth!  I bet every single horse gets a kiss on the nose and a hug before they are sent over that bridge too!  While this all sounds a lot like the United Horseturd’s concept of having a rescue, college, slaughter emporium on one property, as near as I can find, CHEER seemed to be the original brain fart of Black’s.  He wanted us to think of CHEER as a `boutique abattoir’ and if you were uncomfortable eating your own horse, you could swap with a buddy.  So much awesome to contemplate!  If you don’t want to eat the toxic waste at all, you could even donate it to another country like Africa or North Korea.  Quite the humanitarian, Mr. Black is!  It lead me to extrapolate on that and wonder why not save ourselves a lot of grief and ship all this tainted meat over to countries that have a lot of oil or other things we need.  It would save us starting all these wars once they are all suffering and dying from strange maladies brought on by eating our companion animals.  Black goes on to say the tired old line of nobody should have a say in what somebody else eats.  He’s actually right.  I don’t really care what anybody else eats.  What I do care about is how you treat that animal, be it a pig, chicken or horse, while it is still living.  Perhaps Black realized at some point that his stumping for slaughter was going to hurt his bottom line as far as audio sales and tickets to his little talks as he seems to have not had a lot to say in print on the issue for a while.  That’s a real shame as he is fun to pick apart.

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As most of you are aware, PSAs pretty much refuse to listen to anybody that they identify as anti-slaughter.  They don’t like being confronted with truth and fact and often find themselves at a distinct advantage in a battle of wits.  However, while I was looking around I found some interesting YouTube videos linked on a social networking page that perhaps they will address (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GfzX4Fx5xuE).  I’ve linked the first video in a series of three that feature an actual kill buyer talking about his profession as well as transporting horses. This KB is ashamed enough of himself, that his face has been blurred out of the video, but he otherwise lays it all out and is admittedly not too proud of his chosen profession.  There is no graphic footage in any of the videos, but they are worth watching if you feel a need to hear it straight from the source.  He talks about poking eyes out of horses to calm them down, wiring their mouths shut to transport, horrific injuries, and the scams they ran to buy up horses cheap, telling people whatever they need to hear to get those horses.  He even chuckles at the one lady who mistakenly sold her horse to a KB and when she tried to get him back at a profit to the KB, because she SAW him in their pens, they lied to her and ran her off.  It was her horse and his buddies thought it quite funny even though she left in tears.  They show some notes that owners had attached to their horse’s papers upon selling because they thought they were going to real homes.  These weren’t exactly the mythical unwanted horses we hear that KBs rescue and return to dignity all the time.  These were naive people that got scammed and never imagined that this nice man buying a horse for his kid was actually a kill buyer.  He mentions about filling loads at all costs, including one KB that even pulled the saddle off his favorite horse to make up a full load.  Pretty much any horror story you’ve ever heard about kill buyers and transport for slaughter is confirmed by this guy.  Admittedly, the video is a few years old, but as we know from organizations such as Animal Angels (http://www.animalsangels.org/) it is still happening every day.  It is also interesting to note that this interview took place during a time when domestic slaughter was still available and horses were shipping in country.  The simple fact that this KB doesn’t know the difference between a hock, ankle or knee pretty much tells you about the `horsemanship’ of people that choose his profession and this guy claims he started out as a farrier.  I’m sure none of you will be surprised to hear that hardly a single PSA made a comment on these videos other than they were `old’.  You know, the same PSAs that like to trot out a 23 yr old quote our of context that Wayne Pacelle makes as undeniable proof that the real agenda behind the antis is to wipe out all domestic pet ownership.

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The fact is that the PSAs tend to look to people like Slaughterhouse Sue, who doesn’t even own horses or like them, and Douchebag Duquette, failed trainer and industry joke, as their leaders.  They allow these people to represent them and speak for them.  That, alone, should be enough to disregard anything they have to say about the `industry’ or horse welfare.  I mean, it’s not like they have actual successful people with international reputations like George Morris or Beezie Madden out there stumping for slaughter.  You know, the people that actually make a really good living with horses.  You don’t get any Nick Zitos or Graham Motion type people out there telling you to slaughter horses either.  I have even noticed a few PSAs that claim to be involved in racing, but a quick Equibase search on their animals and credentials will soon reveal that they too, are bottom feeders in their chosen fields.  Do you see a common thread? Which comes first, the respect of the animal or the success?  I guess the answer depends on whether or not you believe in karma.  Nobody that truly loves horses would fight so hard for such a horrible death and refuse to look at any other option than slaughter as a solution to current problems.  Perhaps if they would take a seat and let the rest of us get on with things, the majority of our time and money could go towards addressing neglect and abuse rather than this never-ending battle to take the path of least resistance.  If they cared as much as they claim, they would choose to be part of the solution rather than the biggest part of the problem.  IF…….

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Sorry for the extended absence on this blog.  There are some times I’m a bit busier than others and then there are other times my ADD flares up and I just don’t have the focus to sit and write a bunch.  Other times it’s kinda nice to take a bit of a break from the constant horror of slaughter, although that’s never really possible.  I’m sure you have all followed along the various ups and downs lately, but so far it’s looking good that, once again, inspections for horse meat will be defunded and we’ll be right back where we were not so long ago.  That’s all good news and I always said I would happily wrap this blog up once slaughter was no longer a threat for our horses.  Let’s just say we have miles to go before we sleep as good ole Slaughterhouse Sue still has any and all things equine in her crosshairs and she’s getting downright creative in her quest to eat her way through the equine population.  Which kinda brings us to the reason for this drive-by blog today….

suememe

As most of us know by now, when Slaughterhouse Sue runs one of her organizations broke or embarrasses herself to the point of hiding under a rock for a while, she normally comes back under a new banner and redoubles her efforts to wipe out our equine population.  This time is no different.  Allow me to introduce you to Suey’s newest business venture….Sue Wallis’ Wyoming Meats.  I truly wish I was joking about this, but I’m not.  (http://wyomingmeats.com/) She is now `Food Freedom’ fighter and seeks to circumvent the current lack of commercial slaughter by doing a co-op kinda deal with meat.  Sure, she wants to slaughter anything and everything, but make no mistake, this is Suey thumbing her nose at the lack of horse slaughter and seeking revenge on equines as she still blames a riding accident for the death of her spouse.

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As per usual, Suey doesn’t provide us with much detail as far as her business model.  I’m going to go ahead and surmize that she isn’t really a `detail’ kinda person given her past failures.  However, her and her inbred clan have been fighting for their right to drink and sell their straight from the tit milk for quite some time and obviously it sparked an idea for our fearless horse hater.  They have been in and out of court fighting for their right to have what basically amounts to share cropping of milk.  In other words, they sell shares in the milk cow, which will still live on their ranch and you get your supply of unpasteurized milk.  Nobody gets in trouble because there are no rules about what you can and can’t do if you own the cow and aren’t technically selling the milk.  I’m probably oversimplifying, but that’s the gist of it.  She has extrapolated out from this and now offers meat as a `shared harvest’, with horse being on the list.  All this is being done under the heading of CSA or Community Supported Agriculture.  I’m sure it’s just a coincidence that her family breeds Belgians and Haflingers which happen to be favorites of the slaughter industry.  Where Suey is going to get herself into very big trouble is that she is calling herself a broker.  Last time I checked, brokers facilitate the sales of things and it isn’t legal to sell meat of any kind without an inspection and it’s outright illegal to sell horse meat for any form of human consumption in several states.  Things that make you go hmmmmm.

proslI have said before that, as a compromise, I wouldn’t be against a knacker truck or horses being humanely put down at home and processed if people are bound and determined to eat their animals.  I’m sure Suey will tell all the anti-slaughter people that this is a humane way for processing horses.  She’ll basically spout anything in order to fill her gut with Trigger Burgers.  I want to know how this is going to help the unwanted horse population she has told everybody she is so concerned about.  How is it going to help the horse industry as a whole?  It’s not, it’s only going to line her pockets and allow her to wedge one of her pudgy toes in the door of horse slaughter.  I know we’re fighting on a lot of different fronts to see an end to slaughter once and for all, but let’s not let this new venture of Suey’s to slip under the radar.  She’s thumbing her nose at the law and all of us and, once again, horses are the pawns.  Enough is enough.

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Well folks, the past few days have been very interesting indeed.  We’ve had pro-slaughter asstard, Tim Sappington showing us how classy and upstanding slaughterphiles are and we appear to be in the midst of a meltdown courtesy of Slaughterhouse Sue.  We also have the usual messed up logic and statements from some of our favorite PSAs.  I’m kinda hoping this all comes to a head within the next few days, because once again I am on the road briefly next week.  So, even though it’s a day early, let’s get out our fingers and do some pointing and laughing.  This week’s edition is brought to you by the letter `H’ for hissy fit.

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As we always like to do, I thought we’d open up by checking in with Slaughterhouse Sue.  As y’all know, she’s been busy this week laying down the links and losing her shit for all to see.  I’m just going to go ahead and call it a full-scale meltdown at this point.  Yesterday we took a look at her little fit on Tom Vilsack, complete with urging her minions to ” get those flaming pens out, type those smoking letters…WE NEED A DEPARTMENT OF AGRICULTURE THAT WORKS FOR AGRICULTURE–AND THAT INCLUDES THE HORSE BUSINESS–NOT AGAINST US, for Christ’s Sake, People!”  Yup, she just busted out the caplock, so we know how serious she is.  As some of you have pointed out, the angrier Suey gets the more she mistakenly burps out tiny shreds of truth and this week has been no different.  So far she has admitted they can’t match anti slaughter people one for one and that they aren’t after old horses to slaughter, despite the fact she constantly talks about old horses needing a dignified end.  Remember, she thinks slaughter helps horses feel dignified and useful.  She has also called Skye McNeil and `American Hero’ and accused all antis of making false claims.  She had another shit fit today and I’m going to break it down for you here.

“And here you have yet another perfect example of activist spewing baldfaced, undocumented, LIES, and not even being challenged. This has got to be stopped…”

I’m going to state right here and now, that I welcome Suey to come over on this blog or arrange to debate any of us that advocate against slaughter.  We’ve asked for her documentation and facts time and again and other than what she pulls out of her ever-growing ass, she has yet to provide a single thing.

No animal, of any species, processed for food in the U.S. since the days when they had a big, strong, guy with a sledgehammer standing above the knock box in beef plants–and that was a long, long time ago–has been abused the way these activists are alleging horses would be. Ridiculous! Come on media! Do your job! Ask them to document, ask for proof, these people are lying through their teeth and getting away with it. Worse they are swaying public opinion because no one is challenging them!
Yes, come on media!  Do your job!  We’ll be very happy to provide the facts surrounding abuse in the slaughter pipeline.  We are quite happy to provide footage and documentation to any media outlet that requests it.  We’re very happy to share what we’ve learned to get the word out.  Challenge accepted!
Every one of these plants that are seeking to go into business have gone above and beyond the minimum required to ensure that their operations have the right facilities designed with the unique characteristics of horses, they have trained and professional employees who will performing these critical functions, and they have deliberately and conscientiously gone through all of their food safety plans and humane handling plans to make sure that their management will result in the consistent, and humane handling of horses at every step. They are doing this, not just because it is the ethical and moral way to handle animals, which it is, but also because that is how they ensure the highest quality finished product that their customers want.

We just saw the CNN footage of Valley Meats and there has been no modifications for horses that were shown.  This would be the same plant that currently employs Tim Sappington of the horsey snuff flick that has been widely posted the past few days.  He is a fine example of exactly the type of `humane’ workers that will be handling these frightened animals.  Very telling that Suey tells us that they have no ethics or morals, but just want to have better quality meat.  Pretty much says it all, no?

This ain’t rocket science, folks, but it is common sense…something that is sadly lacking in our world today, I am afraid…

http://www.foxnews.com/politics/2013/03/20/us-horse-farms-almost-ready-to-start-slaughtering/

This creature is clearly delusional and I’m afraid there is no cure.  She further went on to rant about how horses are killed:

What does that tell you? It tells you that the bullshit line we keep seeing being spewed by HSUS et al – “horses are difficult to stun and are rarely successful on the first shot, and they are sometimes strung up and dismembered whiles still conscious” – is exactly that…BULLSHIT! And nobody is challenging them or asking them to document and prove their fallacious misinformation. Makes me furious!!!!

She’s so professional!  Actually, yes there is more than enough video footage of horses being shot in the face several times, strung up while conscious and bled out.  Challenge away, we’ll provide you the links.  She also busted the bible out on us all for good measure:

That is, in fact, NOT the case. There was no prohibition on Christians eating horsemeat until Pope Gregory in the Year 1000, in which case the reason was he wanted to keep horses for war, and not have people eating them. The Icelandic people refused to become a Christian nation until they won a special dispensation from the Pope in that year to continue to eat horses, and they do so today. Note–there are NO unwanted starving horses in Iceland, because there is a good use for all of them. Then, please refer to the New Testament and the words of Jesus himself declaring all words clean – Mark 7:19 – for instance. http://www.gotquestions.org/foods.html

You know what else there isn’t a lot of in Iceland?  Horses or people.  (http://www.pferd-und-fleisch.de/Horsemeat/iceland.htm) While we’re talking about the bible, perhaps Suey should take a closer look what they have to say about gluttony…Since Suey is so convinced we all lie and have no documentation of fact to back up our position, I will state officially that any time, any where there are many of us quite happy to have a moderated debate with Suey and we’ll bring the documentation.  I would love to see her documentation to back up her lies.  Let’s make this happen people!  Phone in radio show?  Give me a time and place.  Pick your Anti, Sue…we’ll make it happen.  I’m just not going to do it Jerry Springer style and be in the same room as her because she’ll probably slap me and I bruise easy.

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Ok, let’s move right along to the ass barnacles.  Holy Theresa Manzella has basically been creeping around behind closed doors being Suey’s cheerleader and spreading her messages of hate an intolerance at any given chance.  What she hasn’t been doing much of is updating her rescue’s website or actually rescuing any horses.  I am guessing her exotic kitties have enough to eat right now and she’s waiting until slaughter re-opens so she can turn rescues over faster.  Just a guess though.  D-bag has not been as active as in recent weeks, but he’s still been dropping his pearls of wisdom here and there.  Other than getting his rocks off talking about killing wolves, he took the time to once again discuss his rescue/rehab/slaughter emporium he dreams of opening right in his own backyard.  (http://rtfitchauthor.com/2013/03/21/predatory-horse-slaughter-pimp-plans-kill-plant-and-rehab-on-same-site/) (http://www.eastoregonian.com/news/local_news/slaughter-rehab-for-horses-on-same-site/article_4e842b9a-91e2-11e2-b62d-0019bb2963f4.html?success=2) It’s essentially the same thing he’s discussed before and it will come at an estimated cost of $3million.  Yup, the very same organization that can’t come up with a few hundred dollars to refund their cancelled Scummit fees, is going to somehow find millions to start this facility in a place where nobody wants them.  Ladies and gentlemen, this is a brain cell on Bute…

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*sigh*  I guess we should touch on the doings of Mendy Tobiano since we’re pointing and laughing.  As I mentioned yesterday, she did a premature victory dance over the pending legislation in Oklahoma that would lift the an on horse slaughter.  The good news is we may have finally managed to partially drive her and her three followers underground as she opened the NT forum so the slaughterphiles have yet another place to discuss what great horse abusers they all are and how mean us Anti people are.  However, one of my favorite brain farts of hers over the past little while was when she used an anonymous guest poster to discuss rescues and slaughter.  She reposted a research paper originally written by Kristine Kobernic, who is the sometime executive director and founder of SOSER aka Save Our Souls Equine Rescue out of Minnesota.  I say `sometime’ because Kristine has stepped down and back up as director at least once over the past few months due to some sort of personal drama.  While SOSER does not officially take a pro or anti slaughter stance, Kristine, herself has admitted to trying horse meat in the past and is a frequent supporter of NT under a pseudonym.  How do I know she is the author behind the research paper (which was poorly written to begin with)?  Because Mendy Tobiano forgot to change all the names in the paper she posted and SOSER is clearly named at least once.  This would also be the same rescue that thinks Angela Marshall, the woman who sent her three-legged lame horse to Canada to be slaughtered rather than put him down, is an acceptable foster placement.  Kristine has also been seen to post in other places that she believes we need to bring back slaughter for at least 10 yrs and then phase it out.  I only mention these things because NT and all the PSAs constantly demand that rescues have transparency.  A big thank you to Mendy Tobiano for putting this rescue back on our radar! In other news NT has informed us that killing and eating horses is really no different from abortion as far as rights go.  Let’s hope she doesn’t suggest we start eating fetuses, but at this point nothing would surprise me.

426521_3355054124009_584988699_n So many people are appropriately shocked and outraged over the Tim Sappington video I posted yesterday.  It has been removed from Youtube, but several groups have saved it.  There is an edited version floating around with a description and the graphic portions removed.  As one of our readers commented on that post, Valley Meats is attempting to disassociate themselves from him and claim he no longer works for them, although this statement came from them earlier today:

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE
VALLEY MEAT COMPANY, LLC – For further information contact A. Blair Dunn, Esq. at
abdunn@ablairdunn-esq.com

VALLEY MEAT STATEMENT REGARDGING TIM SAPPINGTON

Valley Meat Co. does confirm that Mr. Sappington does work doing maintenance for Valley. We have seen the video showing Mr. Sappington euthanizing a horse for slaughter which we understood he did as was his legal right for his own consumption and in which he did complete the processing for consumption. We agree that his comments were regrettably crass, not
contributing anything to this dialogue so we do not condone his statements, but he was within his lawful rights to slaughter and butcher a horse and he was not acting as an employee of the company in that action. The emotion of the situation is what is most troubling especially since the opposition is now resorting to terrorist tactics by calling in bomb threats and death threats
against our families. And while Mr. Sappington’s personal comments are inappropriate they pale in comparison to threatening to bomb people and kill their families. We respectfully request that the media and the public remember that we are discussing the processing of horses as livestock
and no animal is worth threatening or ending a person’s life.

So there you have it.  Don’t make threats people.  You just play into their hands.  There are legal and effective ways to deal with these poor excuses for human beings.  Make calls and make this go viral.   There have been contacts from media outlets regarding this video and I’m reasonably sure it will get the attention it deserves, if not the sort of attention he was seeking.  Hopefully, that horse’s execution will not have been in vain, but let’s do this properly.  For the record, the horse as not killed cleanly, nor was he bled out. This was not an old or sick horse like they claim they will use and the horse appeared to be quite friendly and quiet.  Certainly not an outlaw.  It was hardly just a good ole boy butchering up some meat.  The manner and place in which this animal was executed would have rendered him useless for consumption for most, but I”m guessing people like Sappington probably eat roadkill as well so no big deal for him.

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This brings us to the end of Point and Laugh for this week.  I’m sorry it’s not all that amusing, but right now things just aren’t all that amusing.  We have yet to see Suey address the EU ban on horse meat slaughtered in the US, I’m not holding my breath that we ever will.  As evidenced by the Valley Meat statement above, the PSAs just can’t seem to own their evil or address inconvenient truths.  My offer still stands, I will be most happy to go toe to toe with Slaughterhouse Sue and we’ll bring out the facts and documentation.  I also know of several advocates far more articulate and qualified than I am that would be happy to do the same.  What say you, Suey?

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I know some of you have already seen this video I’m about to post.  I want to warn you all that it is extremely graphic.  I hate to click on such things, but I feel that in order to speak to the issues effectively and keep the fire in my belly, sometimes I have to look.  It is probably one of the more disturbing things I have seen in a very long time.

For those of you that don’t have strong constitutions, I will describe it.  It features a typical boots and hat with a handlebar moustache cowdouche, that goes by the name of Tim Sappington.  It is a very short clip that features this piece of human excrement getting a horse out of a small pasture, leading it to a gravel road and then promptly shooting in the head.  As the horse is still in its death throes on the ground, he looks at the camera and says `Fuck you, animal activists’ and walks away leaving it there.  Clearly the horse is not bled out or rendered useable for meat as all the PSAs constantly whine about.  It’s simply a spiteful execution and this is very sort of asshole that will be handling and killing horses in what Slaughterhouse Sue and company want the public to believe is a caring and compassionate manner.

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For those of you that don’t know, he is employed by Valley Meats in New Mexico.  Yup, the very same slaughter-house that claims to be ready to roll as soon as they are granted inspections.  He claims he is ready to start buying up horse as soon as they get the go ahead.  Sappington is a self-confessed horse eater of many years (http://www.bizjournals.com/albuquerque/blog/morning-edition/2013/03/roswell-split-on-horse-meat-plan.html).  He claims that he keeps a meat locker at home and currently slaughters horses for himself.  (http://www.bloomberg.com/news/2013-03-19/horse-slaughter-jobs-embraced-in-state-where-cowboys-roam.html) He also admits to serving it up to people on a regular basis.  I think, since the selling of horse meat for consumption in the US is still illegal, it’s time for the authorities to pay this son of a bitch a little visit.  What an appropriate representation for the industry he is and I’m not even being a little bit sarcastic about this.  As much as I hate things like this, let’s make this video go viral.  Make sure the legislators see exactly what kind of person it takes to want to get involved in horse slaughter.  While you’re at it, say a prayer for any children that he may have in his life because it scares me to think of what they are exposed to on a daily basis.  Lastly, I want somebody to pull Slaughterhouse Sue by her greasy ponytail and make her watch this and justify it.  I’m mad as hell.

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I’m not sure about the rest of you, but I am beginning to feel nostaligic for a time when Slaughterhouse Sue did not have 24/7 to be online and she kept her ass barnacles muzzled and locked up as they should be.  Does this woman ever discuss or think about anything else than torturing animals?  It’s even worse right now because she has the scent of horse blood in her snout and she can almost taste the Bute  since her dream of mass torturing of all things equine is so close.  Once again, I feel compelled to properly frame her statements and address her lies.  I’ll never get around to addressing all her lies, because unlike most PSAs, I actually have other things I have to do in a day besides play on Facebook.  This crap is getting really old.

suememe

First up, we’ll discuss Suey’s latest propaganda release on behalf of the IEBA.  (http://archive.constantcontact.com/fs133/1103685263837/archive/1112755128366.html).  The very fact that this creature assumes to speak for an industry that she is not a part of offends me to the very core of my being.  She does not own horses, she does not like horses.  Her `concern’ for them is the epitome of crocodile tears.  She calls anybody that is not for slaughtering horses an extremist or a radical in an attempt to minimize our position, when in reality, the fact that the horse eaters belong to the minority would probably make them the extremists and radicals on this issue by definition.  Don’t worry, not a single one of them that lurk here will be able to wrap their mind around an abstract concept like that.  The good news is, we have Suey very worried with the introduction of the SAFE Act because she has put Puppymill Patterson on the case too with her Cavalry Group.  You know shit just got serious when Puppymill Patterson writes under her own name rather than just doing D-bag Duquette’s press releases for him.  Any moment now I’m expecting one of them to pound their chests and bust out the caplock on us all.  Some of the many lies Suey tells in her press release that I find most disturbing are in this paragraph:

Several horse processing plants in the United States are set to begin operations very soon. These plants have accomplished most or all of their required modifications to their facilities and will be requesting final walk through inspections, approval to begin operations, and the assignment of inspectors. USDA has indicated that under current law they will be providing the necessary regulation and inspection. These plants, and others that will be follow, have modified not only their physical plants to accommodate the unique characteristics of the equine species, but their Hazard Analysis Critical Control Point (HACCP) plans and their Standard Operating Procedures to include extremely rigorous, thorough, and scientifically validated testing of every carcass that will ensure that no drug residue can ever enter the human food chain, and that every plant has installed humane handling systems and procedures that go above and beyond the U.S. Humane Methods of Slaughter law.

Ok, as far as we know the plant that is actually closest to opening and claims to be completely ready to roll is in New Mexico.  Please take the time to watch this brief tour through the facility they claim is ready to start killing horses immediately (http://www.cnn.com/video/?hpt=hp_t3#/video/us/2013/03/11/erin-pkg-wian-horse-slaughterhouse.cnn).  Don’t worry, there are no horses in the holding pens or being killed…it’s just a tour of where it all will happen should they get their way. From the very chute they have to walk up to the kill box, there is nothing that has been modified for horses.  You will have horses trying to climb over the too low rails, and they’ll have to hot-shot or whip them to get them to move into the kill box since very few frightened horses will willingly walk from an open space into an enclosed one by themselves in a timely manner.  In fact, the only modification that is apparent is a fresh coat of paint and his captive bolt gun he is so proud of.  No mention of Temple Grandin signing off on this or any of their other facilities and she’s the one that Ole Suey claimed was going to design them all.  Let’s not forget this slaughter-house is the very one that was shut down for inhumane handling of cattle just last year even though he doesn’t mention that part in the interview.  Suey’s claim that they are going to evaluate each and every carcass is complete and utter BS too.  If you want to know what really goes on as far as testing for drug residue, you can read this old post (https://shedrowconfessions.wordpress.com/2012/07/12/anybody-want-a-bute-burger/).  It is not economical for them to test each and every carcass that they profess to be able to process in a day.  That would cut into their profits far too much and in a greed driven business, that ain’t ever going to happen.

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I wish I could say that was the sum of Suey’s lies in the press release, but I can’t.  Like any other good pathological liar, once she gets rolling with the whoppers, they just get more grandiose as she goes along.  Take a look at this paragraph:

Strong support nationwide for the horse industry is perhaps most evident right now in Oklahoma where a pair of pro-horse industry bills that will allow processing to begin in that state are sailing through the State Legislature. Just this past Wednesday more than 400 articulate supporters of the legislation led by the Oklahoma Farm Bureau and a host of other Ag organizations showed up for a rally at the Capitol, and not a single anti-slaughter activist! The week before a pathetic showing of anti-horse advocates at what was billed to be a “massive” rally against the bills achieved numbers barely above single digits, outnumbered by the media covering the event, illustrated the out of touch mentality of these extremist groups.

We’ve already covered their horse eating rally last week, but it’s worth repeating that there was no more 400 supporters there than Suey is getting the cover of the next Sports Illustrated Swimsuit edition.  Before you all start gagging and whining about that imagery, just be thankful I didn’t discuss her underwear or wonder if she goes commando because I have theories on that too.  Since there actually was some undercover Antis in attendance (at least 20 from what I hear), we know that more than half of those present were reporters, legislators and their assistants and calling those that spoke in support of slaughter `articulate’ is a rather large stretch of the imagination.  Suey want’s to say `my rally was better than yours’, but in fact,  the numbers were probably similar according to those that attended both rallies.  It also doesn’t really matter because neither of those things are going to make or break this legislation.  You need to contact Governor Mary Fallin and tell her why this can’t happen.  Here’s a link for an email form and contact for her: (https://www.ok.gov/triton/modules/formbuilder/form.php?form_id=2ab143b4bba6b0e9da3235121bf3a7ef73719541e049cc5bcddf8ed1564dac13).  If anybody tries to tell you that you don’t get a say because you’re not from Oklahoma, you might remind them that it is FEDERAL money that will be funding the inspection and not only horses from Oklahoma will be killed.  Yes, we all have a say in this.

What passes for 400 in Suey's world

What passes for 400 in Suey’s world

Ok, let’s move onto Mindy Puppymill Patterson’s part in this.  As we all know, even though she is really one of Slaughterhouse Sue’s favorite ass barnacles, she likes to work through her Cavalry Group.  I wonder if most people realize that all these special interest groups and organizations are really about the same 5 people  under different umbrellas.  So tiresome.  Anyhow, Puppymill issued a call to action to attack the SAFE Act by making it all about the evil HSUS trying to wipe out agriculture again.  Seriously, the way she carries on, I swear Wayne Pacelle must have shook her off is leg when she once tried to hump it or something because she seriously acts like a woman scorned when it comes to him.  As we are all aware, Puppymill, maybe more so than all the others with the exception of Mendy Tobiano, is given to hyperbole and paranoia and she certainly doesn’t let us down with her latest efforts (http://the-cavalry-group.rallycongress.com/9628/stop-deceptive-safeguard-american-food-exports-safe-act-hr-1094s/),

At a time when the U.S. is poised to solve this disgraceful dilemma for horses and the U.S. horse industry, please help us STOP this deceptive bill which would further destroy the U.S. economy, the horse industry, and the welfare of horses.

This measure sets a dangerous precedent to potentially halt the transport of other livestock animals used for food such as beef cattle and pork. Ultimately, the Safeguard American Food Exports Act is an unconstitutional violation of private property.

Destroy the US economy?  Chickens and eggs, I think.  The failing economy delivered a big hit to the horse industry along with everybody else, not the other way around.  I wish the horse industry drove the economy. Then she resorts to her usual scare tactics by basically saying it’s a foot in the door to shut down other food production.  No, if anything it is going to protect our food exports by not sending out our toxic meat all over the world.  Of course she thinks this is a violation of `private property’ because all these blood thirsty slaughterphiles think that they should be allowed to treat any other living creature any way they see fit by virtue of owning it.  They really are profoundly ignorant.  However, the link provided is helpful to us Anti Slaughter people as it provides a helpful zip code look-up for your state representatives with an equally helpful automatic form to direct email them.  Just take the time to edit the provided form letter of support to say you do NOT support slaughter and the reasons why.  It’s pretty nice of Puppymill to do that for everybody even if she didn’t mean to.   Awesome!

Nothing says `animal welfare' like straddling  your next meal...

Nothing says `animal welfare’ like straddling your next meal…

The only real blessing lately is that D-bag seems to have exhausted his brain cell and wrapped up his media blitz for the time being.  I’m really sad the Russell Brand thing hasn’t materialized yet, but I hang onto that dream.  I could also spend hours and hours sifting through the lies they keep spewing to scare the public and people that seem to have trouble thinking for themselves.  They still have no research or actual documentation to back up their claims and they never will.  In fact, they base all their arguments on a bastardized quote that Wayne Pacelle made 20 yrs ago (when he was still in his 20’s) and the debunked GAO report.  They say if you live in the city or don’t own a horse, you shouldn’t have a say, but they want your tax dollars to fund their murderous mission just the same.  They can’t even keep their lies straight as evidenced by this statement Slaughterhouse Sue recently made after saying the Antis are a minority:

Most of the time it is simply a numbers game, and only staff actually read them. But nonetheless…we can’t afford to only have the anti’s on the chart. We may never be able to match them one to one because there simply aren’t enough of us out here in the country, but we can show up at the table!

Well, it’s always been fairly obvious that Suey knows how to show up at a table; the question is can she push herself away from one? It doesn’t appear that she ever has.  However, OMG, did she just stumble about the truth????  She is 100% correct that there isn’t enough of them to match us one to one and now is the time to prove it.  Please, take the time to contact Governor Fallin and your state reps to make your voices herd at the links provided.  You are the voices for those that can’t speak for themselves.  Don’t let them down.

*BREAKING NEWS: The Senate Committee has unanimously approved the horse slaughter bill and it is now on its way to the full senate.  It’s not over yet, but it’s time to get busy* (http://rtfitchauthor.com/2013/03/18/breaking-news-oklahoma-panel-approves-horse-slaughter-bill/)

nocruelty

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As you all realize, it’s been a fairly serious week in the slaughter wars.  It’s also been a fairly hectic time for me since about Christmas and I have gotten away from some of our regular features that are mostly just for fun.  I know that some of you miss Point and Laugh Friday and Sunday’s PSA because you’ve commented or sent emails.  Do you know who else misses those features?  The PSAs.  While this blog is always quite busy with the views on any given day, those two days spike drastically on any given week.  Believe it or not, those particular posts can be a bit more time-consuming than most, so I haven’t had a lot of time to do them justice at this time of year.  However, I do think we need to laugh and honor our PSA buddies.  They may not be brave enough to comment here much, but they do love their features, so today marks the beginning of a new semi-regular feature for this blog.  In honor of reaching our one hundred thousandth unique viewer this past week,  I bring to you, `Dear Aunt Anti’.  This is where we will answer those burning questions we know our PSAs have and give them a chance to participate by proxy.  Let’s see if you can guess the PSA behind the letters.

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Dear Aunt Anti,

 

I am conflicted about horses.  For years I have swindled my living by identifying myself as a trainer and expert.  Because I live in an area that isn’t exactly the hotbed of the horse industry, I have been able to pass myself off as knowledgeable for quite some time even if it meant having to move my hoard on a regular basis to stay one step ahead of the people that I piss off and don’t approve of the condition I keep them in.  Still, because I am bestest buddies with kill buyers and we trade horses back and forth, I have always managed to keep way too many of them on my feed bill, making me a one stop shop, for anybody that had a kid with a horse fantasy that didn’t know better than to go to a real professional.  I managed to get them ribbons by organizing my own horse shows with rules and dress codes that don’t fly anywhere else in the free world.  You could say I created my own private Idaho even. 

 

However, starting a few years ago, people seemed to get wise to my ways and my business dried up.  While I would like to have people believe it was due to the economy, I can admit to you in confidence that it is because I actually spend the majority of my life online looking for validation and reasons to be offended rather than actually learning my craft. How much can you really learn when you already know everything anyhow?  I also  have to admit that I don’t actually like horses very much other than the image I imagine they give me.  Having horses makes me badass and cool in a way I never could be on my own.  So in order to cash in on them,  I decided to become what I could never be in the real world.  An armchair horse expert.  I have spent countless hours reading Wikipedia and The Black Stallion series.  I have taken all I have learned and made those stories my own.  I started my own blog to show how much I know about horses and the industry that so soundly rejected me.  That’s where it all fell apart.  Apparently, there are real horse people that sometimes come online and it was like they could see right through me.  To combat this, I created alter egos to agree with myself and give me compliments.  I even flirted a little with myself because I may as well be sexy online too.  Still, these `horse people’ seemed wise to my ways.  I’m convinced they are parked in that van across the street and they have bugs in my house.  They don’t seem to like me very much, so I found acceptance among the pro slaughter crowd.  They don’t seem to realize I’m a fraud.  All three of them even read my blog and I’m going to cash in on that success by selling them lots of logo crap from Cafe Press.  I’m told I could make up to $20 a month and that’s at least two super sized Big Mac meals!!!!!  My real question is, how can I gain acceptance from real horse people and get them to understand that horses don’t have feelings and are durn good eating?

 

Enviously yours,

Paranoid in the Midwest

 

auntanti

 

Dear Paranoid,

Bless your heart!  You are a whole bunch of issues all wrapped up in a shroud of insecurities!  The short answer to your question is that you will never be accepted by real horse people and neither will  your buddies.  The problem with trying to pass yourself off as an expert is that there will always be people that can see right through you just like the threadbare nylon granny panties you wear every day.  Those are not healthy for your vagina btw.  But I digress…My suggestion would be to pick something more obscure to pretend to know all about.  The problem with attempting to be a horse expert is that at least 80% of  the population really do like them and know more than you and they really take offense when people seek to torture and abuse these wonderful creatures.  You see, they respect the animals as sentient beings and realize that they are no more meant to be on American dinner plates than puppies and kittens.  Sure, we have some immigrant communities that see no problem in eating such things, but we also have immigrant communities that see no problem with arranged marriages and female circumcision.  If you want to do that crap, take it on back to your own country because that doesn’t fly over here.  I can promise you that the horse people do not have you under any kind of surveillance as they are all quite busy looking after their animals on any given day.

 

Because I care about you, I have taken the time to do a little research of my own.  I have found that stamp collecting is probably a great pursuit for you.  Stamps don’t have feelings and they don’t tend to get skinny and sick when you blow all your money tacky manicures and fast food rather than taking care of them.  They don’t eat a thing!  Also, the majority of the American population are not emotionally invested in stamps so they won’t mind when you get angry at your stamps and decide to run them through a paper shredder.  Since stamps are not living things, they don’t have anatomy or even a lot of terminology attached to them so you should be able to pass yourself off as a lifelong expert in no time flat with very few challenges from the online stamp community.  Another bonus is you can never have too many stamps and nobody will call you a hoarder.  You will be known by the much more respectable term of `collector’ and that should help your self-esteem issues as well.  You may even find somebody to flirt with you so you don’t have to do that with yourself.  That kind of thing will make you go crazy and grow hair on your hands!  Please pass this advice onto all your horse eating friends as I think they may be far less angry in the long run.  Nobody likes to wake up and look at a failure in the mirror every day. 

 

Fondly,

Aunt Anti

PS. Thank you for enclosing a picture of you in your former profession.  I guess I won’t bother to tell you why a side pull over a halter and ill-fitting breast collar is a recipe for disaster since you’ve probably already suffered the consequences or at least the poor horse has…

mendytobiano

 

 

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